True Beauty

Sitting through the presentation today about nutrition, weight control and diets, I realized how much of an emphasis is put on appearance in today’s society. Granted they were talking more about the health side of it, rather than the social factors, I still couldn’t help but think of how people are judged by their weight. Along with race, socioeconomic status, gender, and sexual orientation, the way you look is also considered when dating someone, making friends, even getting a job.
The first thing you notice about a person usually is how they look. How many times when describing someone to your friend have you just said, “Yeah, he’s so hot” or “She has the most amazing body.” I guess it is typical for a person to “judge a book by its cover”, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right. The stares, and looks of disgust towards larger people happen daily, like a natural reaction. It’s like the fear of the unknown, you don’t realize the problem until you have went through it, and believe me I have.

In high school I weighed approximately 215 pounds; I was a big girl. The dirty looks and insulting comments happened daily. The friends I had were few, and the nights I cried myself to sleep were many. I wasn’t told I was beautiful until I was 17. It seemed as if my weight controlled my life. I missed out on a lot of opportunities just because I was afraid of what others might say or do to me all based on how I looked. (going to the beach, playing sports etc.) I would’ve done anything to become what others thought was “beautiful”. And I did. I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. The way I did it was everything but good to my health. At least when I was overweight I was in good health, but once I lost it, I began to have a lot of health issues. I think a lot of people look at being heavier, as being unhealthy, which in my case wasn’t true. I put my health in danger, and some of the things I lost, such as the ability to have children, will affect my life forever. I don’t think people realize how much of an impact appearance and weight can have on your life. The everyday glances, and remarks really do affect a person’s self-esteem.

I did this all, just like many do, to become an acceptable person to society. And I guess it worked in some ways. The awkward stares don’t happen much anymore, and the remarks aren’t made as often. Yet the memories of the past will always be there. I will never be “beautiful” and that’s because of the standards that society has set.

Society needs to stop setting the standards of beauty, and start realizing the true beauty in life. Maybe then people will stop judging based on appearance, and start accepting based on kindness of heart. Beauty to me isn’t a look anymore that I am trying to achieve, it’s a feeling I get on a daily basis, when I help a child read, give advice to a friend, or comfort someone in distress. The outside appearance of a person is what beauty is judged upon, yet I believe its just a cover up to someone’s true beauty.

The Untalked about

Masturbation: the most common act, yet least common talked about. I was pondering this thought while I was reading a book the other day, and mentioned it to my group of friends, deathly silence was the response. Why is this act of self pleasure, so “inappropriate” to society when almost everyone engages in it, at least once in his or her life? ( 70% of women, 94% of men) When I bring it up in a conversation, its about as normal to me as talking about the weather, yet most people aren’t this open to “new” ideas. The fact is, the taboo of masturbation started with a religious aspect, in the book of Genesis. Quick reflection: Onan’s married brother died childless. Onan had responsibility to impregnate his brother’s widow, so that his brother could achieve immortality. Onan wasn’t down with impregnating someone else’s kids, so in the idle of getting busy with his sister in law he “spilled his seed on the ground”. So God took him out. Church saw it, as anytime a guy’s seed doesn’t end its journey in a vagina, that’s a sin. So according to this it’s okay to sleep with your brother’s widow, but not spill the seed. Kind of ironic, I think. Anyways, as I was explaining this to my friends, and also explaining some facts about masturbation, such as it isn’t always easy for women to achieve orgasm during intercourse, and 95% of people can achieve one during masturbation, so its a great way to healthy sexuality. It isn’t taught, nor talked about, but very common, and important in life. Masturbation, as frequent act as it is, should not be a guilty endeavor.

Most people think that if you masturbate, you can’t get any, which is not the case. Finding out by yourself, the type of pleasure and actions that work for you, will improve overall sex life in general. It helps people identify with their sexual needs and also how to satisfy them. Masturbation is completely safe, and helps release tension and can also aid in sleep. It teaches people how to separate love from sex, because having an orgasm with someone, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in love. It can also help with stress and circulation in the body, by releasing endorphins.

As you can see there are many benefits of masturbation, whether or not society shames it or not, it is a purely innocent act, with only good side effects. I think self love should not be ridiculed, and the act itself should be an normal, everyday activity one can enjoy without feeling at fault.

Books used for facts:
Tracey Cox, Hot Sex
Taylor and Sharkey: Big Bang

5 SENSES...

Sometimes I wonder if the day would be the same if couldn’t see the morning sky, or couldn’t hear the birds chirping outside. Would the day be any different if I couldn’t smell the cleanness of a shower, feel the morning hug of a friend, or taste the syrup on my pancakes? I guess you could never miss what you never had, but I just don’t think life would have the same meaning unless I had all 5 senses. As I pondered this thought, I wondered if I could live without any of them, and if I had to choose, whether to be deaf or blind, what would I pick??

After a moment, I decided that hearing is less significant to me than seeing. I know this choice is very different for many people, but after some of the experiences I have had, I don’t think hearing is a necessity anymore. I could do without hearing the honking of horns in traffic, the screaming of young girls, or the annoying beep of an alarm in the morning. Sometimes I think life is too loud, and that not being able to hear would let you appreciate the little things in life.

Yet I still understand how people would want to hear over see. I don’t think beauty can be taken in as much through ears as it can through eyes, yet hearing an “I love you” or a persons laugh are priceless. It’s hard to think living without hearing is possible, however I believe a persons smile is more important; seeing happiness is easier than hearing it, and it would be more ideal for me to know what the person I love looks like, than the sound of their voice.

I find comfort in seeing my surroundings, and that’s the main reason I would want to see over hear. Seeing is believing.

I am just thankful that I only have to think of this circumstance, not experience it.